If you’re wondering how to figure out what you want, take a hard look at what energizes you and what drags you down—and let it speak to you.
Your soul craves truth, beauty, wonder, love. Your soul craves
to dream, to imagine, and even simply to understand. Your soul craves
to connect, to commune, to create.
—Erwin McManus
What Your Soul Remembers
There’s a moment during every class I teach, every workshop, every private coaching session when I ask, “What is it that you really want?”
Invariably, the room gets quiet.
The look of panic drops like a curtain.
Eyes look down.
One brave soul will nearly shout, “I don’t know! I don’t remember. And that scares me. How do I even figure that out?!”
There’s no need to worry.
Your soul has not forgotten. It knows how to figure out what you want.
Everything we love is still there, waiting patiently for us to awaken, remember.
We can begin what I call going on an Archaeological Dig of the Self.
How to Figure Out What You Want
Our job is to begin chiseling away what is NOT us, to reveal what is.
Here’s a simple way to get started:
1) Get out your trusty journal and a pen.
Yes, you need a journal. No need to be fancy. A simple notebook from a discount store works!
2) Become “Harriet the Spy” on your life.
Begin noticing what or who drains your energy. Is it a habit? A task? How you have structured your business? The ratio of work to play in your life? A person?
3) Create a section in your journal titled, “Bricks.”
Begin tracking and writing all these drainers of energy down. The more specific you are, the better. Resist the urge to censor yourself. Be honest.
4) Keep a running list of Bricks.
Don’t try to do anything about them just yet. Just focus on getting great at noticing what these are and make a record of them.
5) Now, create a section in your journal called, “Buoyant.”
Begin tracking everything and everyone that/who brings you alive. What stops you in your tracks? What/who fills you with zingy joy? What/who brings your energy way up?
Write it all down.
6) You’ll begin to get insanely great at noticing.
You’ll easily spot the Bricks. You’ll start to see everything that feels Buoyant.
7) Soon, your Buoyant list will begin speaking to you.
Ideas will come. You’ll spot patterns. And then, your subconscious will join the chat with enthusiasm! You’ll start to figure out what you want. It will guide you more toward a Buoyant world and away from Bricks.
Here’s a recent example of mine:
I was trotting through the airport and noticed beautiful bottles of gin at the duty-free shop. While I’m not a fan of gin, I AM a huge fan of the colors and design of those bottles.
I stopped. Stared. Took it all in. Snapped a pic. I learned how much I love the combination of copper and Tiffany blue. This got filed into my Buoyant list for art I’ll make during a future painting session.
Photo by Susie deVille. Gin bottles in a duty-free shop in Venice’s Marco Polo Airport.
Your examples may have nothing to do with art-making. But they will have something to do with what you love.
Each one of these moments holds essential clues. Little hints that are closer to “warmer” for your soul, distancing you from “colder.” The small ways that show you know how to figure out what you want.
Collect Buoyant Moments
As we collect these Buoyant moments, we chisel further down toward the core of our souls.
Away fall the Bricks.
Closer and closer we circle around what is truly us. What fills us with a lightness of being.
We remember what got lost when life got busy. We can then be intentional and decide to bring those things back into our daily lives.
Ready for deeper inspiration on your journey? Eager to figure out what you want?
Grab my book BUOYANT—now available at a special price.
One decision can set us off on an entirely new trajectory—toward a life that looks uniquely like our essential nature.
Remembering what brings us alive is the beginning of reclaiming our agency.
Here, we step back behind the wheel of our own lives and usher in a return to expressing in our choices and actions what we feared we’d lost—the beauty, magic, and delight of swimming in the current of what we love.
