If you’re answering “What is jealousy showing you?”, you’re on the path to making jealousy work for you instead of burdening you.
Envy is a con man, a tugger at your sleeve, a knocker at your door…
The antidote to envy is one’s own work. Always one’s own work.
Not the thinking about it. Not the assessing of it.
But the doing of it.
—Bonnie Friedman, Writing Past Dark
Claire, a talented graphic designer and coaching client, sent me three text messages earlier this week, one after another. She was fuming.
“Check out this post on Instagram!” she wrote. “A former colleague of mine just landed her dream design project! She’s being heralded as the industry’s ‘it’ designer. I’m kinda happy for her, LOL, but, honestly, I am much more talented than she. Why am I invisible? WTF???!!!”
Every social media post from her former colleague felt like a taunt, leaving her paralyzed by self-doubt.
“Let’s jump on a call and dig in,” I said. “You will be surprised by how truly understanding one’s jealousy will reveal exactly not only what you crave but also how to transmute it into liberation.”
Jealousy is the emotion we’re told to suppress, hide, or feel guilty about. But what if jealousy could be transformed from a painful burden into a powerful catalyst for growth?
Julia Cameron, in her timeless book The Artist’s Way, introduces the idea of jealousy as a map—a guide pointing us toward the unmet desires of our hearts. Similarly, Bonnie Friedman, in her deeply insightful Writing Past Dark, shows us how envy can illuminate our deepest dreams and lead us to freedom.
Jealousy as a Guide, Not a Judge
When jealousy arises, it’s easy to slip into self-criticism or resentment. But these feelings are not the enemy. They’re signals, messengers bearing news from the soul.
Julia Cameron suggests that jealousy reveals what we secretly wish for ourselves but feel afraid or unable to pursue. Instead of pushing it away, she invites us to sit with it, ask questions, and take notes.
Cameron’s jealousy map exercise is a simple yet profound practice for turning envy into action.
Grab your journal and create three columns on one page:
- What or Who You’re Jealous Of: Be specific. Is it a friend’s career, someone’s creative courage, or a lifestyle that seems out of reach?
- Why You Feel Jealous: What about this person or situation sparks envy? Is it their freedom, their recognition, or the way they’ve embraced their passions?
- Actionable Steps: What can you do to move closer to your own version of this desire? Start small and make it actionable.
This journaling practice transforms jealousy from an immobilizing emotion into a clear, actionable roadmap.
What is Jealousy Showing You? Freedom Through Awareness & Action
This shift in perspective turns jealousy from a source of shame into a doorway to personal freedom. By acknowledging what we yearn for, we step out of the shadows and into possibility.
Turning jealousy into freedom, though, requires more than insight—it requires action. When you answer “What is jealousy showing you?”, even small steps can lead to profound change. If you envy someone’s adventurous spirit, plan a day trip to a new destination. If you admire a peer’s discipline, commit to a daily habit that supports your goals.
Remember, freedom doesn’t mean copying someone else’s life. It’s about identifying what truly resonates with you and creating your own version of it. As you take these steps, you’ll notice that jealousy fades, replaced by excitement, a joyful spirit, and amped-up energy.
Jealousy doesn’t have to be a shadow lurking in our lives. It can be a teacher, a guide, and even a gift. By embracing it with curiosity and courage, we can uncover what our soul craves and take bold steps toward fulfilling it.
The next time jealousy knocks, invite it in. Reflect on the question, “What is jealousy showing you?” Listen to what it has to say. Then, pick up your map and start charting your path forward.
