If you’re rediscovering how to be yourself, you may need to be looking at your environment. How is where you are uplifting and reflecting who you are? Rethink your environment and connections as you forge your creative identity.
If you don’t know where you are, you probably don’t know who you are.
―Ralph Ellison
In the past two weeks, several new coaching clients have shared strikingly similar feelings during their very first sessions with me:
I don’t feel at home in my body/my own skin.
I don’t connect with where I live (location, community, house, street).
I feel as if I am always the outsider.
I’m lost.
We all have seasons where we feel untethered. Cut off from ourselves, from others, and from any real sense of belonging.
Maybe our business isn’t growing the way we dreamed it would. Maybe our creative work isn’t getting the recognition we hoped for. Maybe we’re questioning whether we’re even on the right path at all.
And in those moments, the fog not only clouds what we’re doing, it clouds who we believe ourselves to be.
Identity and Belonging Go Hand in Hand
Identity doesn’t form in isolation. Who we are is deeply tied to where we are. Our sense of self grows out of place, history, and community:
- The people we surround ourselves with.
- The environment we operate in.
- The cultural and professional context we inhabit.
As you reconnect with how to be yourself, ask yourself: Where am I right now? Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and professionally. Does this environment reflect who you are becoming? Does it affirm your belonging?
Every entrepreneur, every creator, every visionary has walked through seasons of doubt. What separates those who succeed from those who quit is the ability to treat “lostness” as a compass rather than a dead end.
When you’re unsure of who you are and how to be yourself, take inventory of your surroundings:
- Who are you spending time with?
- What habits shape your day?
- What communities are you plugged into?
Our answers reveal much about our trajectory. Clarity about identity begins with re-rooting ourselves in places of belonging.
Building an Aligned “Where”
Learning how to be yourself is a challenge to curate the “where” that is genuine to you, and developing that at every step. If you want to know who you are becoming, start by designing the “where” that supports your future self.
Curate your community. Surround yourself with peers, mentors, and collaborators who challenge you, celebrate you, and lift you higher.
Shape your workspace. Build an environment that sparks energy and creativity—whether that’s a quiet nook, a vibrant studio, or a simple desk cleared of distractions.
Choose your inputs with care. The books you read, the podcasts you follow, the music you play, and the conversations you engage in—these are the soil in which your identity takes root and grows.
Honor your physical environment. Where you live, the places you spend your time, even the streets you walk—all of these whisper to your subconscious about what is possible.
Design your rhythms and rituals. The daily practices you return to—morning routines, exercise, journaling, meditation (The 5Ms)—create the scaffolding that supports your becoming.
And finally, protect your inner landscape. The thoughts you nurture, the stories you tell yourself, the beliefs you choose to hold—these form the terrain upon which your future self stands.
If you feel lost today, don’t panic. Pause and ask: Where am I?
When we intentionally design the “where” of our lives—externally and internally—we shape not only the path ahead, but also the person we are becoming as we walk it.
