Making lasting changes does not have to continue to elude us. If we steady ourselves first and are willing to go through discomfort, we can break free.
“The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you did the day before, period. The moment you decide to make a different choice, get ready because it’s going to feel uncomfortable,” ~ Dr. Joe Dispenza
I know exactly where I need to make changes in my life and business. I bet you do, too. (We may not know the “how,” but we certainly know the “what.”)
Chickens have been threatening to come home to roost for months. None of us can avoid it any longer—it is time to dig deep for our courage, decide to commit, make a plan, and do the daily work.
If we are to have any glimmer of the possibility of enduring change, though, it is imperative we understand going in, the Pain of Change Ratio: the amount of discomfort required is equal to or greater than the importance/urgency of the change before us.
In some ways, we already know this. We know from our past experience that those who have made significant changes have been willing to sit in the fire. Sometimes for extended periods of time.
Therefore, know going in what it is going to require. Know the super shitty things your mind will tell you to knock you off course. Write them down, so when you hear those words inside your head, you can wave your hand in the air, declaring, “Thanks for your input. I’m staying on track!”
What else helps? How do we stave off what Martha Beck calls change-back attacks from others and from ourselves?
- Get a Sherpa (someone who has successfully made the changes you seek) and ask for help
- Secure accountability
- Outline and work daily rituals
- Remove any and all triggers/triggering people from your midst
- Observe your thoughts from the balcony
- Don’t make your change journey mean anything mean (that is, you are not broken/weak)
- Recognize the changes you are making are not punishment or placing you in an environment of scarcity
- Recognize your window(s) of weakness/vulnerability + prepare in advance
- Recognize the cultural influences surrounding you…and have compassion for yourself
- Become a master at spotting patterns of thought and your addictions to emotions
- Get back on the horse as many times as required
Above all, remember one of the mind’s top ten lies: “I’m the only one who is having to do this. It’s not fair. Everyone else gets off the hook. Other people can (fill in the blank here), so why can’t I?! Why me? This is hard. I cannot do it. I want to be care-free like everyone else! Why do I have to give up X,Y, or Z?” BLAH BLAH BLAH.
When this comes up, nip it in the bud and remember this drivel is NOT TRUE. Everyone has something he or she needs to change. No one “gets off the hook” or “gets a free pass.” Whether or not they do the work to change is up to them. What they are doing or not doing is none of our business.
How to Break Free
“First, it is an intention. Then a behavior. Then a habit. Then a practice. Then a second nature. Then it is simply who you are.” ~ Brendon Burchard
This series Brendon provides us detailing how change unfolds makes perfect sense, but is incomplete. If the world, our minds, and our bodies existed in a vacuum, making profound changes would seem as straightforward as he suggests.
But let’s go back to what Dr. Joe said and remember that we must get ready to be uncomfortable. In fact, get excited when the discomfort shows up. Invite it on in! Experiencing such discomfort is a powerful metric indicating that we are breaking free.
If we properly prepare ourselves for the intense, inner pushback from within, we can switch off our love affair with our past limits and stay in the immense power and creative energy of remaking the future we seek.
From my Morning Pages:
“OK, weirdly, I’ve not been ready before now to make the long-lasting changes. I was pushing so hard…working against myself. Not anymore. I’m finally IN the river pointed down stream. I get it. I’m not embracing change as a punishment, but rather as power. That’s a big deal. The energy is vastly different. One is stuck in the past, so one just recreates the same blue print, patterns, program over and over and over, making little or no progress. Or progress that only lasts a brief moment before sliding backward. The other is future-focused. Empowered. Confident. Thankful in advance of the changes occurring. A co-creating energy. Light. Possibility. Wonderment. Excitement. Unconditionally loving. Supportive. In alignment with The Universe. And with our inner divinity.”
We can change all kinds of things and still not make measurable progress if we aren’t (a) consistent and (b) thorough. Without those two elements, there will be no power emanating from positive accumulation and compounding traction.
Little changes done consistently make a huge difference.
We have entered into a time where there are massive structural changes afoot—globally—personally. There will be enormous opportunities in the coming months that we cannot even foresee from where we are sitting now.
And if we do the work we really want to avoid—the work that sets us ablaze—we will reap untold, enduring windfalls.