A long time ago, in a quiet room tucked behind two sales counters, my dad taught me a simple lesson that would shape the rest of my existence, and I want to pass it along to you: you have the power to design your life.
He showed me that every detail—the atmosphere we cultivate, the energy we bring into a room, the way we savor a single ordinary moment—is an active choice. When you realize that you hold the brush, you give yourself permission to step back and intentionally design your life with the same care, elegance, and devotion as a master artisan.
The best thing about your life is that it is in a constant state of design. This means you have the power, at all times, to redesign it….[W]hen it comes to your life, you are not just the artist, but the masterpiece as well.
Lessons from the Wrapping Room
Rarely does a day go by that I do not stop and appreciate having grown up working in a luxurious retail shop.
My dad’s shop, the Stone Lantern, was where I learned everything from how to craft a beautiful and thoughtful customer experience to how to sell anything to how to transmute a disappointment into an indelible moment of delight.
It was also where I learned how to wrap any item, great or small, and turn the package into a work of art.
Dad would hold court in the wrapping room, hidden from view behind the two sales counters, and teach each of us the art of wrapping “the Stone Lantern way.”
He’d begin by taking a customer’s purchase and wrapping it in two sheets of tissue, a glossy white piece inside a deep purple one, and sealing it with a gold Stone Lantern sticker. He’d then demonstrate how to fold tissue with pleats and crisp edges and line our custom-made gift boxes. Once the item was tucked and “floated” inside, he’d seal the box and select the right-sized piece of handmade Japanese Kozo wrapping paper.
Next, he’d ensure the sides of the paper would just meet and not overlap, giving an invisible seam. We only used double-faced tape so that the paper appeared to be magically sealed. The final steps were to add the double gold ribbon, ensuring the pieces stayed flat and did not cross, and to tuck a notecard inside a Kozo envelope under the ribbon.
When we brought the boxes out to the customer, the reaction was always the same: a gasp followed by a comment like, “This is the most beautiful package I’ve ever seen.”
I never grew tired of seeing and hearing their reactions.
One afternoon, I wrapped what might have been my thousandth package and placed it into a shopping bag. My customer watched over my shoulder and said, “Everything you all do here is five-star.”
Dad had overheard the comment from the other sales counter, and he popped over to my side to thank the customer. He kindly and graciously acknowledged their compliment. The customer nearly floated out the door.
When it was just the two of us, Dad turned to me and said, “Remember, Charlie Banana (one of his nicknames for me), you can design your life as beautifully as we design packages and how our customers feel. It’s up to you to find what you love, and if you can’t find it, create it.”
The Magic of a Well-Designed Life
As I stood in a breathtaking shop in Paris’ 6th arrondissement yesterday, my wrapping training, Dad’s philosophy, and his wisdom coursed through me.
I was the first person inside the shop (I had arrived thirty minutes early so that I would be first in line) and was greeted by a vivacious and stunning woman from Sweden. We hit it off in an instant.
She took me through the shop and guided me through the options for hair brushes and combs, lotions and perfumes, soaps and oils. I made my selections, and she trotted off to engrave my pieces. While she worked, another woman, who was seated at a beautiful desk near the shop’s window, wrote my name in calligraphy on two labels that would be added to the packaging of my purchases.
The clerk returned triumphant and grinning. I then watched her enter into a wrapping ritual that was a Proustian magic carpet ride back to my childhood.
She wrapped the items in tissue with folds and pleats and stickers. She placed the tissue bundles into individual, sumptuous, deep blue, velvet drawstring bags, and then those bags were tucked into what was like an origami shopping bag of thick paper and ribbons.
And just like the customers I waited on for years, I gasped and said, “That’s the most beautiful package I’ve ever seen.”
The clerk smiled at me and asked me what my favorite places in Paris were. I immediately began rattling off my favorite shops, haunts, places for picnics, restaurants, brasseries, cafes, and bistros. She searched for a piece of paper and asked me to repeat what I had just said.
I was happy to oblige. As I began recounting my Paris loves, a circle of customers formed around me, each with their phones out, recording everything I said. I stopped to spell out names of establishments and give directions. I shared inside secrets as to when to go to certain places and how to get “impossible” reservations.
When I finished paying for my treasures, the clerk said to me, “You know how to live! I love it. I am so glad you were my first customer. Thank you for bringing the best energy to us and our shop!”
How to Design Your Life in Any Moment
As I strolled down Rue Bonaparte, I thought of Dad’s wisdom and how I had intentionally been following it for years. And that active choice to design my life had landed me in Paris and dozens of other exotic, beautiful ports of call throughout my life.
It had also helped me curate a love of the everyday, the moments that can be easily overlooked. Catching someone’s gaze who sees you for who you truly are, laughing at something silly with a friend, appreciating the way someone handles a setback with courage.
We can design and redesign our lives in this moment. In any moment.
What is it that you really want? Take a few minutes right now and remind yourself. Write it all down.
And then decide. Commit. Choose a start date and book it.
We know how we want to live. We just need to design accordingly.
