A scare at the eye doctor reminded me that staying focused on what is precious—the joys in front of us every day—helps us live without regrets.
Perhaps all pleasure is only relief.
—William S. Burroughs
My Health Scare
I went down the mountain yesterday morning for my annual eye exam.
When called from the waiting area, I introduced myself to the ophthalmologist’s new assistant and entered the examination room. She did all of the preliminary vision checks and then used a tonometer to check the pressure in my eyes.
“Hmmm, 27 in the right eye and 24 in the left.”
“Wait, what?” I asked. “That’s so high!”
She made some notes on the exam papers and said with a smile, “The doctor will be in shortly.”
“Shortly” turned out to be about 20 minutes.
While I waited, I began Googling glaucoma. The readings from the tonometer were, as I had thought, well out of the healthy range. My heart pounded.
I then read about what can happen to your vision when you have glaucoma. Vision loss, blindness.
I put my phone on the exam room desk and stared at the wall where a few, carefree minutes ago, I was reciting letters and laughing.
The very first things I began thinking about were the faces of people I love. Could I remember all their features? Were the lines and curves of their expressions indelible in my mind?
And then my mind became a movie reel of colors, beauty, and art. Books. My handwriting on a journal page. Lines, marks, and shapes painted or drawn by my hands. Trees. Sunlight.
Architecture in the European cities I love. Flowers. Movies. Clouds that billow and hang heavy in the sky before it rains. The green of spring grass dotted with yellow buttercups.
How seeing is an intricate part of living a life I love.
I thought of Bronnie Ware’s work as a palliative nurse and how her work taught me how to live without regrets.
What hadn’t I done that I wished I had? What had I done that I now considered a waste of time and energy?
Eyes Wide Open
Few moments in life bring a wave of relief as powerful as realizing one of our worst fears is not coming true.
A shift that feels seismic, coloring the world anew.
But how do we hold on to this heightened awareness? How do we truly live without regrets?
It’s easy to let the gratitude fade, to slip back into the comfortable trance of routines and distractions. The truth is, we don’t have to wait for fear or near-loss to wake us up to the wonder of being alive.
Gratitude is the antidote to falling asleep in the middle of our lives.
It’s in taking an extra moment to marvel at the soft glow of sunlight filtering through the trees, to be captivated by the vibrant hues of a blooming flower, or to feel the tender warmth in the smile of someone you love.
It’s in the intricate patterns of a leaf, the contrasts of color in our favorite paintings, or the quiet power of a shared glance that speaks volumes. These moments, rich with beauty, art, nature, and love, are life’s quiet masterpieces waiting to be noticed.
How to Live Without Regrets
Relief reminds us what’s at stake: the preciousness of our days.
But staying amazed and grateful is a choice we make, again and again. Choosing to stay awake and aware, to live without regrets, even in the messiness and uncertainty.
It’s about marveling at the ordinary as if we’ve just been handed a reprieve—which, in truth, we have. Every moment of clarity, every breath, every chance to be (as Mary Oliver would say) “a bride married to amazement” is a gift.
Let’s not miss it.
