Have you ever looked around and thought, this isn’t what I want out of life? If so, you need to get back on track. Even when you’re on track chasing a big goal, it’s possible to fall out of alignment with what’s most important to you. Sometimes, when we’re focused on achieving a dream, important parts of our lives, like family, friends, and hobbies, take a backseat. When this happens, it can feel tricky to realign your priorities without sacrificing your big dream. Fear not; I’ve been there and have a great approach to getting back on track. After all, is it really success without happiness and fulfillment?
Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want…
everything else is secondary.
Steve Jobs
A Success Story?
I had a meeting with a new enterprise coaching client yesterday. By nearly every measure, at 48 years old, Edward is the epitome of success.
Nearly.
His sales numbers are through the roof. He has mastered the art of scaling—so much so his company has achieved a year-over-year growth rate of 125% for the last three years.
The problem is that he is, well, miserable.
“Six years ago, I began postponing my life,” Edward said. “At first, it was in small ways, here and there. I’d cancel plans with friends. Then I started missing some of the kids’ sporting events. I’d work late and miss dinners at home. We skipped three years of family vacations. When we finally made the long-promised trip to Maine in May, I was on the phone for hours a day. My wife was furious, rightfully so.”
Edward stared at the layer of foam in his coffee cup. “I love my work and am so proud of what we have built,” he said. “But I am tired of missing my own life.”
“What is it that you really want?” I asked. “Putting aside concerns of what you believe is possible, what comprises your ideal life?”
Edward thought for a couple of minutes and said, “I want to remember who I was in my 30s and bring him back. I want to release my addiction to work and get off the gerbil wheel. I used to be fun! I want to be truly present with my wife and kids. Awake. I want to savor my life, not bulldoze my way through it. I’m terrified I’ll wake up one day in my early 60s and realize I have not lived, not loved.”
“What you do perceive is stopping you from doing just that?” I asked.
“I’ve gotten great at building numerous sales pipelines, but they all involve me,” he said. “I’m knee-deep in everything. I don’t know how to dial it back. Trapped in a prison of my own making.”
“I have a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card for you, Ed,” I said. “Let’s map out a plan for you to remember who you truly are, step into that authentic version of yourself, and lead your life from a place of alignment and peace. From there, we’ll work on how to empower your team as you remove yourself from daily operations and lean more into a strategic role.”
“That all sounds great,” said Edward, “but how about we fix the business workflows first?”
“I know this sounds backward,” I said. “But we cannot lead others until we lead ourselves first.”
If we try to tame our external environment before looking inside ourselves, we cannot get back on track to living in a way that is aligned with our values. Leading ourselves first means prioritizing our own well-being, setting boundaries, and ensuring that our actions align with our core values and long-term goals.
Try This Exercise to Get Back on Track
Finding authentic alignment starts with self-awareness and intentional living.
If you are like Edward and are in a season of joyless, exhausting overwhelm, grab your journal and ask yourself this: What did I used to love to do before life got busy?
Set a timer and write for ten minutes without lifting your pen or pencil. Just roll with whatever is coming up for you, and do not stop and judge anything you are writing. Write quickly so that you are leaping over your censoring mind to arrive at what is true for you.
Next, read over what you have written and circle one thing you can do this week to get back on track to living the life you desire. Schedule it. Protect it.
Now, ask yourself this: Who or what is draining my energy and filling me with suffocating dread? Write for five minutes in bullet points. Again, resist the urge to self-censor and get it all down.
Read over your list and select the ickiest energy vampire. How would it feel if this drain vanished and you could reclaim vibrancy? What is one thing you can do today to begin eliminating this energy vampire?
Setting a strategic plan for removing ourselves from being overly involved in operations in our organizations and/or being the bottleneck in our enterprise is the easy part. Of course, it is natural to believe that strategy comes first.
We cannot, however, get back on track with lasting change until we reconnect deeply with our essential selves. Anything we build on top of a foundation of a forgotten self will ultimately collapse.
When we lead ourselves with authenticity, tapping into our hearts and intuition, we reignite our passion and joy and artfully create the lives of our dreams. I encourage you to try this exercise; I know you’ll love the result.
Bonus: Tune into This Week’s Podcast Episode to Let Go of Limiting Beliefs
A new episode of The Courage to Live a Big Life is live! Enjoy the 7-minute episode, “Heal Your Creativity Scars.
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