Joy is not a distraction; it is our purpose. When we intentionally cultivate joy—making a conscious effort to find and nurture it every day—we lead more meaningful, full lives. Our creativity flourishes, our sense of purpose shifts from mere productivity to genuine fulfillment, and our self-worth rises. By permitting ourselves to prioritize joy alongside our responsibilities—rather than postponing it until everything on our to-do list is done—we not only enrich our own lives but also inspire others to do the same, and isn’t that a beautiful way to live?
Beware the barrenness of a busy life.—Socrates
Cliché and Pathetic? Never.
Aaron was frustrated, antsy in his café chair across from me.
He ran his left hand through his dark brown hair and pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head in one sweeping motion.
“I guess I’m hiring you to coach me out of this world-class funk I’m in,” he said.
His eyes were on the tabletop, not me. I waited.
“I feel like ever since I turned 50, I have felt the crunch of time,” he said. “My mind is stuck in a never-ending, Tim Urban-style spiral, tallying how little quality time I might have left with my family and friends. The number of sunrises, winter snows, and spring renaissances remaining. How many more visits to Morocco or London, or Florence will I be granted? I feel nostalgic, but I don’t know for what exactly. And, I have had an amazing life!”
Aaron looked up at me, leaned his head onto his left hand, and said, “Pretty cliché and pathetic, right?”
I shook my head, meeting his eyes.
“Not cliché. Not pathetic,” I said. “It’s what happens when someone who’s lived deeply starts to realize just how sacred time is. You’re not spiraling—you’re simply becoming much more aware as to what matters most to you. That ache you’re feeling? It’s your soul taking inventory. And that’s not something to fix—it’s something to listen to.”
Aaron exhaled and looked into his coffee. “OK, how then do I get more spaciousness in my day and still get it all done?”
Now, we were truly on the bedrock of what was troubling Aaron—the knotted musculature of meeting a perceived standard of productivity—a bucket that never fills.
“Aaron, “I said, “I have a sense your feelings of nostalgia are not for another time, but rather for a present and future where you experience much more agency and freedom. And joy.”
Aaron lifted his chin and stared at the far wall behind me. He squinted his eyes into a focus on a different way of living and said, “Yes.”
Many of us have absorbed a deeply-rooted message from our culture: Do the work first, and then we can rest.
Get through the to-do list, and then we can play. Push through the tasks, the errands, the emails—then we can read that book, go for a walk, paint, write, laugh, breathe.; to cultivate joy is a privilege.
But the reality is that the list is never done.
There will always be more emails to answer, household chores to do, and projects to complete. As soon as we cross something off, two more things appear.
We must cultivate joy now.
The idea that we can earn joy only after finishing everything is harmful and toxic. It keeps us in a cycle of postponing life.
Joy is not something we earn. It is something we cultivate. And to live fully, we need to stop waiting until “everything is done” to permit ourselves to feel good.
This tendency to delay pleasure is deeply ingrained. We are taught from an early age to be productive, to achieve, to prove our worth through output. Fun, creativity, and self-care are framed as luxuries or rewards.
But they are essential to a meaningful, energized life.
The cost of postponing joy is high. We lose touch with our aliveness. We forget what lights us up. We burn out. And when that happens, even the work we’re so focused on begins to suffer.
Our creativity dries up. Our decision-making dulls. Our motivation fades.
So, how do we change this?
Start by noticing when you are holding joy hostage behind a wall of unfinished tasks. Ask yourself, What am I waiting for? How can I cultivate joy now?
What would it look like to put a little pleasure into your day, not later?
Maybe that means taking a sunrise hike. Maybe it means taking ten minutes to stretch, journal, or sketch between meetings. Maybe it means permitting yourself to rest without guilt, especially when there are still things left to do.
Integrate joy into the day, rather than saving it for some imaginary future.
When you make space for what lights you up, you become more resilient. You reconnect to your inspired creativity. We’re much more likely to approach our work with fresh energy and intention.
We also need to reframe our definition of success. Instead of measuring a day by how much we got done, what if we measured it by how connected we felt? How often we paused to breathe, to create, to feel wonder? How much we managed to cultivate joy?
Living this way requires courage. It means setting boundaries, letting go of perfectionism, and refusing to believe that our worth is tied to productivity. But the payoff is a life that feels rich, spacious, and alive.
Joy is not a distraction.
It is not selfish. It is not something to squeeze in when the work is done. It is a compass. It points us toward what matters.
Cultivate joy. Let it lead.
Let it live right alongside your goals, your dreams, and yes, your to-do list.
The list can wait.
Life cannot.
Before you scamper off…are you writing a book (or have you published one)?
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